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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812614">What Makes It Doctor Who (Filk)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antosha/pseuds/Antosha'>Antosha</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Apologies for the Earwig, Aristotelian Logic, Based on a One Direction Song, F/M, Filk, Let's Kill Hitler, Narrative logic, Season/Series 06, Weird Plot Shit, plot holes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:09:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antosha/pseuds/Antosha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruminations on plot logic and time travel (Written immediately after watching Season 6, #8 — "Let's Kill Hitler")</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor &amp; Amy Pond &amp; Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, The Doctor &amp; Amy Pond &amp; Rory Williams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Makes It Doctor Who (Filk)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>One night, we watched "Let's Kill Hitler," which suggested that Amy and Rory were, in fact, their good friend Mel's parents — but also confirmed that Mel was River "Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought, 'Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish. I think I’ll kill the Fuhrer.' Who’s with me?" Song. </p>
<p>:mind blown: </p>
<p>The next afternoon, my youngest and I were trying to work out some of the causal knots... And a filk sprang into my head.  </p>
<p>There's a recording out there somewhere of my friend <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragyn42/pseuds/dragyn42">dragyn42</a> singing this at a con.</p>
<p>(Sorry. I hate this song. A lot. But it's catchy, and and, at the time, it was <i>everywhere.</i> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7CHfqg0wd8">Here's my daughter's favorite parody version of the original song</a> by Key of Awesome.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>What Makes It Doctor Who</b><br/>
<em>[Sung to the tune of One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful"]</em><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Hey, Amy Pond, meet River Song.<br/>
You’ll find out she is your daughter<br/>
Before too long.<br/>
<br/>
She set you up<br/>
With Rory too.<br/>
Yeah, it’s a paradox—<br/>
Get used to it, it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
<br/>
Nobody else in the ‘verse can see it,<br/>
Nobody else here but you-ou.<br/>
<br/>
[CHORUS]<br/>
This show treats time so bizarrely, I’m so confused<br/>
The way that cause and effect are abu-used<br/>
Aristotle has turned to the bo-ottle.<br/>
He don’t know<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
He don’t know it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
<br/>
Rory, dude, don’t look so sad—<br/>
That pretty older lady<br/>
Just called you Dad!<br/>
<br/>
Don’t be a wimp. Act like a nurse.<br/>
You’ve got the Doctor for a son-in-law…<br/>
Okay, that’s worse.<br/>
<br/>
Nobody else in the ‘verse can see it,<br/>
Nobody else here but you-ou.<br/>
<br/>
[CHORUS]<br/>
This show treats time so bizarrely, I’m so confused<br/>
The way that cause and effect are abu-used<br/>
Aristotle has turned to the bo-ottle.<br/>
He don’t know<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
He don’t know it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
<br/>
So c-come on, Melody Pond.<br/>
Help us figure out<br/>
What turned you into River Song<br/>
<br/>
You tried to kill him, when you first kissed<br/>
Then you saved, regenerated him…<br/>
What have I missed?<br/>
<br/>
Nobody else in the ‘verse can see it,<br/>
Nobody else here but you-ou.<br/>
<br/>
[CHORUS]<br/>
This show treats time so bizarrely, I’m so confused<br/>
The way that cause and effect are abu-used<br/>
Aristotle has turned to the bo-ottle.<br/>
He don’t know<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
He don’t know it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
<br/>
Na, na, na, na<br/>
Na, na, na, na<br/>
Na, na, na, na<br/>
Na, na, na, na<br/>
<br/>
[CHORUS]<br/>
This show treats time so bizarrely, I’m so confused<br/>
The way that cause and effect are abu-used<br/>
Aristotle has turned to the bo-ottle.<br/>
He don’t know<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
He don’t know it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
<br/>
The way that present and future lead to the past<br/>
The way that plot holes go zooming so fa-ast<br/>
I think I might need a Doctor before we’re through<br/>
I should have known<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
I should have known, it’s Doctor Who.<br/>
Oh, oh,<br/>
I should have known, it’s Doctor Who.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yeah. Sorry about that.</p>
<p>:whistles a Beatles tune just to clear his brain:</p></blockquote></div></div>
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